Packing For Armageddon: Bug Out Bag Essentials

They go by many names: BOB (Bug Out Bag), GOOD bag (Get Out Of Dodge), INCH bag (I'm Never Coming Home), PERK (Personal emergency relocation kit), and 72-hour kit. So whether you believe the fate of humanity is near or far, one thing is for sure... You can never be too prepared. And you do not want to be caught in a nuclear winter with nothing but your Crocs, socks, and bare ass to the wind. Now you don't have to. Consider yourself one step closer to survival by being sure you have the essentials mentioned below.

Warding Off the Elements

Environmental protection is the most practical first step when preparing to fend off whatever hell mother nature throws at you.

Lets start with clothing:

  • Long pants, NO blue jeans (1 pair) - Ever tried to run in wet jeans? You might as well be wading through quicksand in a gun fight. A sturdy pair of pants will do. Convertible zip off pants are even better. Remember, you're not in a fashion show... Unless the runway is starvation and the audience is trying to kill you.

 

  • Lightweight long sleeve shirt (2 pairs) - "But I'll be hot and the other survivors will make fun of me." I see where you are coming from... but you are wrong. The other survivors will have blisters from the sun and you will be a happy wastelander.

 

  • Sturdy shoes - Expect to be on your feet for a while, it would be wise to have some sturdy shoes available that are already broken in and ready to haul your ass from point A to B without complication.

 

  • Wool socks (2-3 pair) - Cotton socks chafe and cause hot spots on your feet that turn into blisters. You can even stuff your extra pairs with food or other essentials.

 

  • Underwear - Yes.

 

  • Bandana - Tourniquet, sling, sweatband, wash cloth, eye patch, neck protection, trail marker, wet wear in hot whether... This is probably the most versatile accessory in your pack. Bring some.

Shelter:

  • Tent
  • Tarp
  • Sleeping Pad
  • Sleeping Bag

Unless the local cave colony is taking applicants, you are going to need a means to take refuge from whatever nightmare you were thrust into. The lighter a tent is, the pricier it is. If a tent isn't in the budget, an extra tarp will do. Just be sure to pack some stakes and some extra nylon rope. When choosing a sleeping bag, be sure it is a mummy with a temperature rating that suits your regional climate.

Other protection:

  • Insect Repellent
  • Sunscreen
  • Baseball Hat
  • Rain Jacket

Bugs, the sun, and weather are all out to purge anyone who wants to brave the outdoors for an extended period of time. This is especially so during an apocalypse. Do not think for a second you are an exception.

Sustenance

Eight to Ten days. That is how long our feeble selves can last without water. Twenty-one days is the magic number for how many days we could last without food. So yeah, a source of nourishment is kinda' important. You better have a plan when shit hits the fan and don't think you can just eat the shit.

Water:

  • Bladder
  • Water Bottle
  • Purification (iodine) Tablets
  • Filtration System

A person needs 1 liter of water a day minimum. Since your BOB is intended to last 72-hours, pack 3 liters of water. A CamelBak and a secondary water bottle should be sufficient. After that 3 liters is gone, you are going to need to refill. As it turns out, there is no plumbing in nature so not all water is going to be clean. This is where purification tablets and a filtration system pay for themselves.

Food:

  • Protein Bars
  • Freeze Dried Food or MREs
  • Large Cup or Travel Pot
  • Telescoping Fishing Pole

Protein bars and freeze dried food will last the first few days. If you can get some MRE (Meals Ready-to-Eat) then they can double as a way to get warm in cold climates. They have a chemical that heats when mixed with water that heats the food. Stuff that in your jacket to ward off that pesky hypothermia.

Give a man a fish he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he doesn't have to eat his extremities to stave off starvation. Fishing poles are light and extremely useful. Chances are that scavenging isn't in your portfolio, but fishing is something anyone can do in a desperate situation.

Self Defense

Any global catastrophe will come with a slurry of unknown threats that may require you to pack more heat than some matches. Here is what you will need:

  • Knife
  • Handgun
  • 25 rounds of ammunition

A knife is a no-brainer in any survival scenario. Ideally, one with a partially serrated edge for cutting rope and branches. A gun on the other hand is something that should not be selected lightly. For one, if you are not properly educated on how to handle a firearm then having one is useless. Know how to dismantle, clean, and assemble your firearm. Also, know how to tell if it is loaded by learning how to perform a press check. Choosing the right gun is a heavily debated topic, but it would be recommended to choose one durable with a solid clip capacity.

Other Basic Essentials

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Until quantum backpacks are invented, we cannot possibly contain enough supplies to be prepared for every possible cataclysmic event. Gas masks, radiation suits, nun-chucks, antivenom, batarangs, grappling hooks, etc. all sound great in theory. But they are not essential. These are:

  • First Aid Kit
  • Matches
  • Compass
  • Local Topographic Map
  • Flashlight
  • Extra Batteries
  • Headlamp
  • Chapstick
  • Moleskin
  • Sewing Kit
  • Zip Ties
  • Paracord
  • Toothbrush/Toothpaste
  • Two-way Radios
  • Notepad/Pencil

Now you have stuff. But it should go without mentioning that stuff isn't going to save you. Physical preparedness is the first step to surviving the apocalypse. Without being properly conditioned, exhaustion will be the first to claim your life. So drop the drumstick, put on something elastic pants, and work on your cardio. The tools are in your hands and it is better to be a survivor than a victim.

If you would like to learn more about how to better ready yourself for the end times checkout episode 3 of the Pseudophiles Podcast!

The Mandela Effect (Collective false Memories) - 10 Lies We All Believe

Summary:

The Mandela effect is a term coined by Fiona Broome in reference to a collective false memory of Nelson Mandela dying in prison in the 80's when he, in fact, died in 2013 at home surrounded by his family. It is a phenomenon that occurs when a group of people all share in a memory that did not actually happen. The term Mandela Effect is now used for all instances of collective false memory and the internet is losing its shit over it.

1. The Monopoly Man Does NOT Have a Monocle

Hard to believe right? A game that has been sold in 114 different countries and published in 47 different languages, yet we cannot help but imagine this universally recognized icon without a monocle... of which it never had. 

2. Berenstein vs Berenstain Bears

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Yet another staple of our childhood that we cannot recall correctly. It seems many people remember them as the Berenstain Bears with an 'E' and not 'A'. Perhaps it is not our recollection that is wrong, but our timelines are diverging from parallel universes.

3. Queen's "We Are the Champions" Ends in Silence

It just fucking ends. There is no "of the world"... just a fat load of nothin'. What if Leonardo DiCaprio stepped out onto the bow of the Titanic, geared up to scream at the top of his lungs, then swallowed a fly, and walked back to his room discouraged. That is how it feels at the end of that song. Especially, when you are road tripping and you scream "of the world" over silence...

4. Sinbad's movie Shazaam Never Happened

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It is one thing to collectively get details wrong, but to imagine an entire movie is beyond abnormal. Many people recall a film that featured the comic Sinbad as a Genie in a movie called "Shazaam". Perhaps the powers at be decided there was not enough room in the universe for such a movie to exist.

5. Goodbye Clarice

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Anthony Hopkins made quite an impression in Silence of the Lambs as Hannibal Lecter. We can all imagine him looking through the bars as Jodie Foster approaches his cell and is met with an unsettling "Hello Clarice." Well, apparently our brains are stupid because it never happened.

6. Double "Stuf" Oreo

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Perhaps our brains are auto-correcting the incorrect spelling, but they are Double "Stuf" Oreos. Not Double Stuff or Double Stuffed... It is Double Stuf and we wish it would hop back into its alternate universe and learn proper English.

7. "Beam me up, scotty" - Said no one ever

Who said "beam me up Scotty" you ask? No one... No one said that. I have listened to many-a Star Trek trivia battle but rarely do I hear someone point out that one of the most recognizable quotes is a farce.

8. Loop in the Ford logo

They are the oldest automotive company in the United states. No matter how many times we have looked at the damn thing in fits of road rage, we cannot seem to remember that there is a loop on the 'F'.

9. Houston... Problem

Jack Swigert made this line famous after the failed Apollo 13 mission and was perpetuated by shitty condescending teenagers for years and probably years to come. However, the line is "Houston, we've had a problem" not "Houston, we have a problem."

10. Hot air Balloon Joyride

Perhaps the strangest Mandela Effect of all is that many people share in the memory of riding in a hot air balloon when they were children, to find out later in life that it had never happened.

If you would like to learn more on the Mandela effect and parallel universes, checkout episode 2 of our podcast!